Guest Blogger: Jenny

MY REBUTTAL
by Jenny

My human slave has grossly overstepped her boundaries and dared to bathe me. I do not intend to forgive her, perhaps for a very long time.

It is not my fault that "stuff" got stuck in my "fluff" in the panties region. I am a long-haired cat. Such things, annoyingly, happen.

If my uppity human slave had not intervened, I would have taken care of the problem. She has no concept of how cats must cope. She is essentially hairless and has such innovations as a commode and toilet tissue. Truly, she has no clue what is entailed in having to deal with permanent long-haired panties, clay bits in a box for a toilet, and being no more than one foot off the floor except when jumping or hanging out in high places.

She places more value on keeping her furniture and belongings free of "cat stuff" than she does on my autonomy and self-bathing. It is intolerable.

Yes, I am outraged at my human slave. Were you in my place, you would be too.

Never mind that my panties region is "stuff-free" now. I'd have got around to it eventually.

*#%^&@$+! human.

P!$$3d off,
Jenny

I knew better...

Yes, I did.

But I did it anyway. I really had no choice.

I will spare you the worst of the mental image. Suffice it to say that my sweet fluff girl Jenny, who is pure white with long silky hair and two different colored eyes (gold and copper), let some *stuff* get stuck in her *fluff*, around her luxuriant "panties." It had apparently been there since early this morning, and was thus dry. It was NOT pretty.

So I did what any good cat mama would do: First, I cut off a bunch of the "stuff," resulting in a significant loss of "panties" fur. Then, I put some gentle shampoo in some nice warm water in the bathroom sink, and I gently carried my darling in there, and I scruffed her neck just so, and I soaked and eased the nastiness from her fur.

Now, I must say, my darling girl was very good. Though she throatily cried bloody murder, she only lashed out once (at least once that she actually connected), and gave me only the smallest of scratches (through my shirt!) on my upper arm, near my armpit. I guess she thought turn-about was fair play. And she even stayed put while I ran more nice warm water to rinse her off.

But alas! My sweet girl escaped while I was toweling her dry. I now have wet cat foot- and body-prints all over the apartment. She hisses and growls and aims sharp scratches at me and will not let me near her. I can't say as I blame her. (NOTE: Image is not Jenny, but embodies her attitude about being bathed by her human slave quite well.)

But she *does* have nice clean "panties" now. I can stand to look at her from the back, which is good, because she keeps turning her back on me. Cats are like that.

I would not be surprised if she gives you her side of the story sometime soon. Like the "stuff" in the "panties fluff," I'm sure it will not be pretty, either.