Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Guest Blogger: Jenny

MY REBUTTAL
by Jenny

My human slave has grossly overstepped her boundaries and dared to bathe me. I do not intend to forgive her, perhaps for a very long time.

It is not my fault that "stuff" got stuck in my "fluff" in the panties region. I am a long-haired cat. Such things, annoyingly, happen.

If my uppity human slave had not intervened, I would have taken care of the problem. She has no concept of how cats must cope. She is essentially hairless and has such innovations as a commode and toilet tissue. Truly, she has no clue what is entailed in having to deal with permanent long-haired panties, clay bits in a box for a toilet, and being no more than one foot off the floor except when jumping or hanging out in high places.

She places more value on keeping her furniture and belongings free of "cat stuff" than she does on my autonomy and self-bathing. It is intolerable.

Yes, I am outraged at my human slave. Were you in my place, you would be too.

Never mind that my panties region is "stuff-free" now. I'd have got around to it eventually.

*#%^&@$+! human.

P!$$3d off,
Jenny

7 comments:

Whistle said...

Jenny! worst news ever! you got a bath with water from people????

We keep ourselves very clean and fresh. They smell funny!

The nerve! the indignity! the sheer cussedness of being bathed!

you need a GREENIE!

Psalmist said...

^
ROSIE said:

Yeah, it was pretty bad around here. I'm glad *I* didn't get a bath in water from the human slave, but I felt kind of sorry for Jenny, at least until she dissed me in her re-BUTT-al (hahahaha).

But you know what's really the pits? The Slave is looking for day job work again, and she's not buying any "extras," as she calls them. As if Greenies aren't essential! So all Jenny got was a little extra kibble and some leftover cheese sauce from the Slave's dinner. As Top Cat around here, of course I made Jenny share. She was pretty put-upon, I have to admit.

Thanks for stopping by, Whistle. Can we come and live with you? Your human sounds like she's a lot more generous than ours.

Love,
Rosie

P.S. an after-thought said...

Thanks for the email note. Please check other (linked) blog on Friday to see what else I'm up to these days.

Anonymous said...

I don't see the deal! I had a bath and grooming Monday and I and resting comfortably ever since.
Buff and a Stud,
Wrigley the Wheaten Terrier Blogger
(owner of Paisley)

Singing Owl said...

Oh, Jenny, I am so deeply sorry and affronted for you. Harrummph!

Did I ever share what happened to ME last year? I had problems with my fur. I won't go into details, but my human slave actually had me shaved! Shaved! It was an unimaginable horror. I looked scalped, I tell you.

These humans are insane sometimes, with their obsession about neat fur.

Patches

Anonymous said...

'sup?!
paisley

Anonymous said...

Jenny darlin', are you holding Psalmist hostage? Now, sugar, let her go now. She promises to only dust your feathers on the extreme exceptional occassion...Jenny....Jenny?
Paisley?