Finally able to breathe!

It's good that summer has essentially arrived. Good for my sanity, that is.

Don't get me wrong. I adore the musicians I lead and our ministry together. I'm simply very tired. The frenzy of activity in the month of May was enormous this year. I'm making a promise to myself to not ever again attempt a major multi-group concert in May, ever again, even if the holidays coincide well for it. (We presented our every-musical-group-in-the-church-does-a-patriotic-bash-concert last Sunday evening, the day after Armed Forces Day and the weekend prior to Memorial Day weekend.) The concert went extremely well, despite some marked under-rehearsal on the part of several of my groups, and was well-received, but it was TOO.MUCH for this time of year.

My school age children did very well as the loft choir the Sunday before the concert, which was Pentecost, and also the observance of Mother's Day. That was also a coinciding of two "heavy" days that I'm glad doesn't happen very often.

Oh, and I started a new day-job assignment the Monday prior to the patriotic concert, one that my agency didn't tell me had an end time of 6:00 p.m. every day. Mind, I had a 7:00 down-beat for final rehearsals on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights. If I'd known about that requirement, I'd have turned down the assignment or else negotiated a 5:30 p.m. end time (which is, this past week, how it did get negotiated, after it became clear that I was expected to donate a full hour of unpaid overtime, eating at my desk or in the conference room and answering all the calls that came in). It's an assignment supporting the CFO of the county hospital, and entails a fairly high stress level, especially here at the beginning. I don't know the end date of the assignment. A candidate for the permanent position turned it down, they don't have an answer from their other permanent candidate yet, and if she turns it down, they have to start from scratch. I actually meet all the desired and required qualifications, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that I could end up being considered, in which case I'd have to temp through a contract period and then be hired. But that's unhatched chicken territory, so I'm not thinking too much about that. I'm doing a pretty good job. The 7-month temp prior to me kind of made a hash out of a lot of the job, and I'm getting the office more organized. I acquitted myself well at a Board of Managers finance committee meeting on Thursday, a major hurdle. Major stuff is happening, including the CEO being replaced; we had a new boss after the Board meeting Friday afternoon, and Tuesday morning (early) it's all getting laid out for the C-level and VPs.

But anyway, my rehearsal schedule is d0wn to one evening rehearsal per week and one more per month. We take July off for both those groups, too, and I'll be taking two back-to-back July Sundays off; much needed. I'm hoping to take a weekend in Kerrville to get our handbells reconditioned. The tech came on-site last fall and this is a once-per-five-year-or-so thing. He's got a neat deal set up, where he has modest accomodations for those who bring their bells to him. Drop them Friday night or Saturday morning, spend the night, and leave Sunday afternoon with your shiny, reconditioned bells. It's one of the loveliest areas of the state, or so I'm told; I've never been there. (If you like James Avery's jewelry, that's where his studio is, too.) I haven't had a get-away vacation in nearly ten years, and finally I'll have enough money niched away to afford the lodging (the church has already agreed to pay my mileage, which is a bargain compared to the cost of shipping handbells).

So, a saner pace, a mini-vacation to look forward to, and

(trumpet fanfare)

A romantic relationship developing. Not going to say much about that at this time, but it's been WONDERFUL to my heart. He's a fine man who's genuinely attracted to me as a human being and as a woman. We're taking things very slowly for the time being. "And that's all I'm going to say about that."

God is good.

Back again

Hello. It's the amazing disappearing Psalmist, re-emerging from blog silence.

I thought about concocting a story about a top-secret mission to eradicate some evil or other, but then realized I wouldn't be able to say anything about it if it were so, so that's out.

I thought about being humorous, but I'm not especially funny these days.

I thought about just yanking down the blog altogether because I obviously am not spending any time with it. But I don't really want to do that, either.

The truth is, a lot of "stuff," some of it good, has been happening, and I'm simply overwhelmed.

I've added an additional ensemble with rehearsal on another weeknight. This means I have three weeknight rehearsals, with a fourth ensemble/rehearsal once per month. My official lineup is:

SUNDAY
Early service with ensemble warm-up prior
Warm-up rehearsal between services when "extra" group(s) sing/ring
Late service with choir warm-up prior
(Give a private voice lesson right after lunch; GOOD student)
Evening service - no music responsibilities except putting out books
(Half-hour for community supper)
Pre-school choir rehearsal
School-age choir rehearsal
Lock-up/close-up facilities

MONDAY
Day job (more about that below)
Adult handbell rehearsal

TUESDAY
Day job
Youth handbell rehearsal

WEDNESDAY
Day job
Adult choir rehearsal
(Private voice lesson -- for a flaky student)

THURSDAY
Day job
Monthly early service ensemble rehearsal
Semi-monthly administrative council meeting

FRIDAY
Day job
OFF! in the evening

SATURDAY
OFF! (Except when something's going on at church)

There is a lot going on. Sometimes it helps to see it in a list like that.

As for the day job, it's really in flux. I was out of day-job work for most of the month of October. I applied for unemployment benefits, but though my church income doesn't "count" toward qualifying for benefits, I'm still required to report it so that the state can pay me less. I am getting a little bit -- I say am getting because I haven't got it all yet. I've applied for a position at a local non-profit agency and I'm rather excited about it. One of the members of my church, whose daughter's wedding I coordinated this summer, suggested I apply. She's a VP of the agency. There is hope...

Meanwhile, I reluctantly accepted a receptionist position through an agency at the company where, the first of the year, I fully expected to temp into a dream job. That ended when my boss there was suddenly and unexpectedly fired. Anyway, the regular receptionist, who's been there over 15 years, had major surgery. I could have turned down the assignment, as it pays less than the minimum the state said I had to accept, but the receptionist was extraordinarily kind to me on a number of occasions and it's a way to both work and do something good for her. I don't like the work -- busy telephones take way too much out of me and make me super-nervous -- but it IS work. Bummer, though...the agency originally called me frantic for a same-day beginning to the assignment and said it was for just a few cents per hour lower than I made there the last time, which was fine. So I accepted and was getting dressed to go in, then I got a call and they were reducing the rate to more than $1.50 an hour less. That's where I got reluctant. Unprofessional, on both the agency's and the company's part. I let stuff like that get to me.

During my unemployment, I had several interviews. One was for a hospital system and I decided I needed to splurge on a suit, because all of my suits are many years old and/or don't fit me very well. Found one on sale and snapped it up; I've gotten a lot of compliments on it. (A classic look with some updated details. See photo image. And no, it is NOT a photo of me. It's the model in the online catalog of a store that begins with the same initials as Jesus Christ's, and ends with a homophone of the smallest denomination of American coin.)
Anyway, I've worn it exactly three times, and was going to take it to be cleaned, only to discover that the side seams of the skirt are disintegrating. That is, the fabric is fraying out into the body of the skirt from both sides of the seam. It is beyond repair. This was a well-fitting suit. In fact, it was slightly on the loose side; not tight in any way. I did nothing to cause this problem. But now I have to go back to the store to do battle and see if I can return it after three wearings...then wonder if there's ANYTHING that will not fall apart that fits me for anywhere near the same price...since I have very little money at this point to spend on something more expensive. And I do want to dress impeccably for the non-profit agency interview. I'm a class act and I want to dress that way, too.

(Warning to the women out there, considering buying garments made of the new synthetic loose-weave tweed stuff: DON'T BUY IT, at least not until you've checked the construction very carefully and tested the durability of the seam areas.)

Meanwhile, back at the interviews: I didn't get the new suit hospital position. I also didn't get one I applied for on my own, at a WordPerfect law office. I let the person who gave me their proof-reading test take it from me before I was finished and therefore I missed too much on it -- duh! It was not a good experience and showed me that the attorney, who wasn't even there that day, let someone totally inept screen his applicants in a very unprofessional way. Probably just as well, but that second "wearing of the suit" went the way of the first. (Another agency underbid mine on the hospital job, and my agency didn't even bother to call me to tell me. It took me three calls to them to find out.)

And on top of everything else, there have been trials here at my apartment complex. It's an older complex and getting less and less safe. With no warning, the management changed the first of September and it wasn't until this past Thursday that I found out the municipal housing authority had purchased the property. With being out of work, the money I'd been hoping to accumulate so I could afford to move the end of this month (when my lease was up) got spent to pay bills instead. I lost the $50-off any month's rent voucher that was part of my last renewal incentive because there was no notice of the pending sale. They were going to renege on my reserved parking place that it took me 4 1/2 years to qualify for and which is a safety issue for me. But finally, because my options were limited, I met with the new manager Thursday right after work and she discussed the issues. She decided she would keep the existing reserved spaces and was negotiating with the towing company on authorizing towing when others park in the spaces (an ongoing problem, especially since the office personnel were telling new residents they COULD park in them). But my rent went up significantly, though it's still very reasonable for the size of my unit in this market. The handwriting's on the wall, though. I need to move next year, before I'm forced to because of income restrictions they're almost certainly going to impose in 1-2 years. But I signed a new lease. There's something oddly reassuring about that. (In my first phone conversation with the manager, after I learned about the pending elimination of reserved parking, I said I'd have to re-think living someplace where a valuable "perk" of being a long-term resident was not going to be honored, she said she'd be glad to let me out of my lease with no penalty so I could move immediately. That did NOT leave me feeling like she valued long-term tenants on the property. Fortunately, she had a very different attitude when I visited in person.)

Well, that's WAY more than I planned to blog about. But it's the stuff that's been distracting and troubling me.

What I do want to be sure to include is this: Tomorrow we celebrate All Saints' Sunday. In addition to Holy Communion and remembering our departed saints, we're also celebrating the baptism of our newest child, the little sister of one of my favorite children, a four-year-old boy who makes me smile every time we meet. (He's also the boy who ran to his Nana and mom very upset last Saturday night at Trunk or Treat, because he'd seen me fall on the parking lot and hurt myself, saying "Miss [Psalmist] is hurt! Mom, is she going to be OK? I'll miss her if she can't come to choir." --How sweet is that?!) I love the reminder that all of life is a cycle of birth and death, that we're surrounded by that great cloud of witnesses as we run our race to obtain the prize.

Our God is VERY good!

This 'n' That

I'm finally back to the blog. We hit a very busy spot at church and the day job got rather intense at about the same time. But good things have happened and continue to happen--and I pray that in one particular respect, will yet happen.

On that last point, I learned Tuesday afternoon that my day job boss lost his job. I learned this when the HR director informed me I would not be needed the rest of the week, as the company re-thinks the direction for the IT department to go. So although the acting IT director has emphatically told me that he considers my work essential and absolutely needs me back, it remains to be seen if he has any clout to make that happen. So I've been updating my resume and getting back into the job-hunting groove. I'm praying that they DO want me back--the work was ideal for my (non-church) gifts and I've enjoyed it. But I wish I had the nerve to tell them that any IT department needs at least one administrative support individual--one who's not merely temporary--and if they offer me the job as an employee, I'll take it (but not a temp assignment). I'll know what's right, when and if this or any other assignment is offered. But I *do* need to work; there's that ridiculously over-priced car that needs to be paid for and a pair of feline despots who loudly demand food in their bowl each morning.

But...on to more certain and uplifting things!

We dedicated our new piano and a number of other worship/sanctuary items last Sunday. The service was wonderful and a number of people reported having worshiped as never before. Every musical group in the church was represented, as we combined elements of a dedication recital with the service itself. Sister Pianist outdid herself! She and I played a treatment of "Ode to Joy" as the postlude (I on violin), and while my playing was not flawless, I think it went all right. The children sang like angels while Sister Pianist played Fred Bock's (otherwise rather trite) Clair de Lune/Jesus Loves Me. Our opening hymn was "When In Our Music God Is Glorified," with a handbell duet team playing the melody each verse while I added violin for the first and last verse. A male soloist sang a beloved solo from a years-ago cantata--he's my male adult assistant in children's choir, and the children swarmed him with compliments at their rehearsal later that afternoon (an echo of the way he compliments them each time they sing). Two of our liturgical dancers, accompanied by our early service music team of three singers, piano, and guitar, presented a stunning interpretation of "Above All." We had a lay reader who has a very dramatic style, read Psalm 8, from which we went directly into Fettke's "The Majesty and Glory of Your Name"; the final alleluias were all I could have hoped for from our 21 voices.

No, for the most part we weren't very "high church"; we're never very high church! But it was our best, and for our informal little (?) church, it was a once-in-a-lifetime event. We dedicated a grand piano, a Paschal/Advent candlestand (handmade by a member and GORGEOUS), an equally gorgeous handmade handrail recently installed in the choir loft for the singers' safety (made by a different talented member), new worship banners, our recently purchased choir robes, and the beautiful choir stoles made by one of our choir members. The service was followed by a catered lunch in honor of all church volunteers, with a "fair" for people to see the various ministries of the church for which we can volunteer in the coming summer and school year. A great day, great worship, and a great coming together of the generosity and creativity of our congregation!

This was two weeks after our chancel choir presented Benjamin Harlan's "Wondrous Love" as the Scripture and proclamation. Cantatas can be musical hack jobs, but I highly recommend Harlan's remarkable cantata. He had an unusally well-written, effective narration that drew the congregation into the Mark version of the Passion and Resurrection. The choir and our two narrators (latter deliberately chosen because they're twenty-something, an age group we tend not to hear from too often in our congregation but which is growing in number and faith in our church) did a fantastic job. One of the good things about "Wondrous Love" is that it doesn't force a church choir to try to sing "pop" style. The sheer number of familiar, yet not over-sung, hymns makes it very unusual in its genre. I've heard from several people that members of the congregation were singing along on a few of the songs! When debriefing the choir the next Wednesday, the consensus was that it was their favorite of any cantata they've ever sung, mainly because it wasn't "pop." They don't do "pop" very well, and they know it. And I couldn't be happier with that state of affairs! So on my to-do list is a letter of thanks to Dr. Harlan, which will include encouragement to keep writing things like this. We smaller, "legit" choirs have too few extended works that we can do with integrity and confidence. The worship of God deserves such music.

And the next week, our school-age choir was the service choir. They do this once each year and it is a huge deal for them. They sang Natalie Sleeth's "Feed My Lambs," just about perfectly. They behaved beautifully, even sitting and listening attentively to the guest pianist's postlude (Sister Pianist was away for the weekend). They understood that being in the choir loft meant that they were worship leaders for the morning and they stepped up to the challenge and did very well. I am VERY proud of them!

One more "big" thing still remains for me this spring: our annual Children's Choir Concert, scheduled for this Sunday. It's not a huge deal; all the music is the children's favorites from this choir year. It's fun, also, because we demonstrate a few of the things the congregation never sees/hears: from "Nancy the Gnat" (a little game the younger children and I play to get them to stretch their voices and learn control over pitch and volume) and "The Silly Song" (the children have the length of the song--sung to the tune of "Polly Wolly Doodle"--to be as silly and wiggly as they wish, then the "sillies are gone now") to all the verses and motions to the "Austrian Yodeling Song" (this year complete with Tyrolian hats), the concert is a celebration of many of the things we do to help the children grow in their knowledge and love of music and worship. I'm always delighted by the number of people who attend who have no children, grandchildren, nieces, or nephews in the children's choirs. This church loves their children. (So do I!)

Then it's a matter of crating the handbells to send them off for reconditioning, getting ready to welcome special Sunday choirs (men for Mother's Day and women for Father's Day) and volunteer groups to sub for the choir during their July off (and arrange for two volunteer directors for the two weeks I'm taking off), and enjoy not spending 13+ hours at church on Sundays during the summer. I'm tired, and I'm ready for a little change of pace. I'm thinking about seeing if I could visit a couple of the Texas Rev Gals' churches on those weeks off. (Hint, hint)

So that's all the news that is news in Psalmist-land, where all the members are loving, all the children are angels, and all the singers are WELL above average.

A Musical Journey to Easter

Dear readers,

This has been a blessed week. At every point, the week has been marked by powerful music. Here is a re-tracing of the steps we took together at my church.

Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord! We sang "Hosanna, Loud Hosanna" as our opening hymn on Palm/Passion Sunday while the children waved palm branches. The choir sang the "Palm Processional" from our upcoming cantata (April 15), Benjamin Harlan's "Wondrous Love" (the movement combined "Hosanna, Loud Hosanna" and the refrain from "The Holy City"). After our pastor guided us scripturally from the palms of Sunday to the Friday cries of "Crucify him!", we closed the service with "Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross."

Thursday we gathered again for Maundy Thursday communion, with our "informal service" music group (minus our lead singer, whose husband suffered a heart attack on Wednesday--doing well, praise God) singing "The Wonderful Cross" and our pianist providing exquisite communion musical meditation. The service ended with the hymn, "Go to Dark Gethsemane," as we did a ceremonial removal of Lenten purple and draped the communion table cross in black.

Our Good Friday was an evening service, so the sanctuary was fully draped in black. We have a very large central wooden cross on the front chancel wall, over which was displayed a black banner with a stark silver-gray outline of the suffering Savior in crown of thorns. It was visually stunning. We had diminished lighting and seven votive candles on the draped communion table, which were distinguished one by one during the final Scripture reading. Earlier readings were punctuated with several hymns, including "Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence" and "Jesus, Remember Me." The choir sang a dramatic piece by Don Besig and Nancy Price, "Within the Shadow of the Cross." The opening verse was done as a solo by a nearly ten-year-old girl, who sang absolutely perfectly (we were very proud of her; it was only her second time to sing a solo in public). The her solo's final phrase, "A little child, like me," which was echoed by the choir at the end of the piece: "A child of God, like you and me." The entire congregation filed out as we sang, "Were You There?" and gathered (shivering) on the sanctuary porch, where the pastor chained and padlocked the doors until Easter morning.

During the Easter Vigil, we offered a Catacombs service. The pastor and I were not actually in attendance, though we were able to listen at a distance. The simulation is that the church leaders had been arrested and all printed resources destroyed by "the authorities" who had declared Christian gatherings--and the faith itself--illegal. Those who attended this service had a combination of worship and discussion focused around how to keep the faith alive amidst persecution, when the only worship and study resources are the memories of the saints. We listened as the group of twenty or so people sang hymns of their own choosing ("Amazing Grace," "Jesus, Remember Me," "I Love to Tell the Story," and "Jesus Loves Me"), shared various memorized Scripture passages (including the 23rd Psalm and John 3:16-17), and recited the Apostles' Creed together. Testimonies were shared. There was excellent discussion about the difference between what Americans tend to call "persecution" and true persecution of faithful Christians. After 50 minutes, the "lookout" (pastor) gave a signal door knock to warn that the "patrols were on their way into town," and after closing with a prayer circle and ending with the Lord's Prayer, the group dispersed by ones and twos to return home.

I was still at church, working on final details for this morning's services, when the final scheduled on-site vigil prayer partner, a high school senior boy, finished his "shift" at midnight. He knocked at the office door to tell me he was leaving. I wished him a happy Easter and told him I'd see him later in the morning. He smiled as he realized it was technically a few minutes into Easter morning, and made my whole day by offering me the ancient greeting: "He is risen!" Of course, I replied, with joy in my heart, "He is risen indeed!"

Our liturgical dance group presented the sunrise service, which was once again reluctantly moved indoors because of our area's snow storm (no lie!) much of the day yesterday. It was near freezing this morning; in our part of Texas, that's not considered "outdoor weather." It is done entirely by school-age children and junior and senior high youth. They re-enact the entire passion and resurrection story in their unique combination of dance and American Sign Language. It is stunningly beautiful. As the Lord Jesus (one of my youth handbell ringers) was taken down from the cross and cradled by his mother (a high school girl), there was no one I could see who was not in tears. They perform to recorded music, which included
"Via Dolorosa," "At the Foot of the Cross," and "Was It a Morning Like this," among several other pieces.

We broke "new" ground with our informal group at the 9:00 service. We have had only piano/keyboard accompaniment until about a month ago, when a good guitarist joined us. Still, this means we don't have a complete rhythm section for the more energetic songs we do. Nevertheless, we presented a passable rendition of "My Redeemer Lives" this morning, greeted by more enthusiastic "Amens" than normal. People sang the chorus (many times) with gusto. (Though this is far from a favorite of mine, there's something to be said for people singing "My Redeemer lives! My redeemer lives!" with conviction.) At both the 9:00 and 10:45 services, the pastor preached on 1 Corinthians 15, focusing on "if" Christ had not been raised from the dead and looking at the reliable evidence passed on to us of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. We were challenged both to believe the evidence we have received, and to testify to our own experience of the risen Christ in our own lives. Powerful!

At the late service, our handbell choir rang "Come Ye Faithful, Raise the Strain," which is one of the best efforts we've had all year. They also rang on the first hymn, "Christ the Lord is Risen Today." The children of the church, including several of the many young guests we welcomed today, sang "He Is Exalted" and did a superb job. I've "come around" on the appropriateness of "In the Garden" at Easter; this is our prayer hymn through the rest of April. The choir took it a little easy, given our scheduled cantata next week, and sang Hal Hopson's arrangement of a William Boyce work, which Hopson calls "Let the Praise Go 'Round" (actually, it consists of a three-part canon to the primary text of "Hallelujah," which made it very appropriate for Easter). We closed with one of my personal least-favorite Easter hymns, "He Lives," but here again, it's hard to argue with "He lives...you ask me how I know...he lives within my heart."

Bells. Children's voices. Piano. Keyboard and guitar. Choral music. Enthusiastic hymn singing (we ARE Methodist!). All in worship of the One who suffered, died, and rose from the dead, for us.

Christ is risen, indeed! Hallelujah!