Cheap "Grace" and "Forgiveness"

Every so often I come across the idea--written, spoken, and expressed attitude--that grace is a duty and forgiveness can be demanded. I've been thinking a lot about both lately, and here's what has yet again been made clear to me through the Scriptures and my own considerable efforts to put them into practice.

First of all, grace is a gift. It originates from God and, apart from a vital relationship with God, is not a "natural" part of human living. We're too selfish, left to our own devices, to offer one another much grace. Grace is a lavish, wholehearted, selfless showering of godly love upon undeserving fellow sinners. It's neither ours to demand nor even expect. If it were, it would not be grace.

Forgiveness is one expression of grace. Similarly, it is a deliberate and wholehearted decision, specifically not to be bound by or to another's sin against us. If we have sinned against another, we have no right to demand that he or she forgive us.

Christians too often cheapen both grace and forgiveness. The "demand" for forgiveness cheapens the cost of sin; it glosses over the effect our sin has upon the other and seeks to absolve us of any responsibility for repentance and reconciliation. It short-circuits the restoration of true Christian community when we, the sinner, insist that the one we sinned against owes us his or her forgiveness. Which of us would dare to tell Jesus, "You HAD to forgive me; that was your duty"? None, I do hope! Yet there are Christians who stand firm in their unrepentant sin and loudly demand that those they've wronged, forgive them. No amends, no repentance, just ongoing sin--and the demand that it be forgiven because it's their Christian duty to forgive those who have sinned against them.

To me, that sounds an awful lot like the argument Paul refuted to the Roman churches (Rom. 6), that somehow they thought it was good to sin so that more grace would abound. No; instead, Paul showed that sin damages both the sinner and the body--the community, and it grieves the Lord who gave his life that we might no longer be slaves to sin. We ought to be outdoing one another in dying to our sins, not continuing in them even while demanding that those we sin against forgive us!

Grace is cheapened when it is expected. Forgiveness is reduced to a poor imitation when it is formulized and demanded. The sinner should deal with his or her own sin, with God's help, rather than meddling in the alleged lack of grace or unforgiveness of others. Each of us has plenty of sin to keep us busy repenting. We do not need another's forgiveness or grace in order to stop sinning and repent (turn another way) from it. We DO need to pay close attention to the leading of the Holy Spirit on what we ourselves can do to restore relationships broken by our own sin. And as mature Christians, we have a bitter lesson to learn: there are some relationships that may remain broken in this life. That can be a consequence of our sins against others. If we have consistently and unrepentantly torn into a brother or sister, he or she may not be able to trust us. It's going to take a lot of work on our part to become trustworthy, and we only prove our untrustworthiness when we demand "forgiveness" from him or her when we haven't even bothered to express regret or remorse for our sin, or stopped engaging in it in the first place.

The sham of blithe "I forgive you" statements TO people WE'VE sinned against, is especially cheap. When someone shows us that we've sinned against them, we ought to take that very seriously and stop doing it! If we're arrogant and proud in our continued sin against them, they are hardly sinning against us to tell us so. That pride in our sin is, itself, more sin on OUR part, not theirs. And even if they're not completely innocent in terms of sinning against us, we can only control our own behavior, not theirs. Claiming we're forgiving THEM, especially if we throw in a habitual insult in the statement, without ANY evidence of our own repentance, is meaningless. The most it could possibly do is deceive us into thinking we're without sin.

The other person's forgiveness of us, or lack of it, should have no bearing on our repentance. We ought to have repented and sought forgiveness long before they can even offer it. If our sin was unintentional, it's still ours to own and deal with once it's been shown to us. We who were bought at the price of the Lord Jesus Christ's death, can ill afford to deny the sins we commit against others. They may forgive us, but we're still dead in that sin if we deny we even committed it! The forgiveness frees the one we sinned against; we're choosing to live outside that forgiveness. It's no wonder that the self-righteous strive for outward perfection; "whitewashed tombs" was Jesus' description of such denial of sin.

Forgiveness demanded is the height of self-righteous delusion. A truly repentant person acknowledges that he or she has no right to expect any such thing. And in the upside-down paradox of God's economy, it is the truly repentant person who finds true forgiveness and grace, from God, if not always from others he or she has sinned against. One thing is certain, however: The one who insists on another's forgiveness and grace has a heart shut tight against the real article, for that one is still dead in his or her own sin. Repentance must precede acceptance of any forgiveness that may be offered.

Finally, it should be noted that many times, genuine forgiveness takes hard work. It can take time, and it is always a matter of choosing to forgive. It's like submission: if we're in a sinful system that demands it from us, it is no longer the real thing, but merely an outward behavior compelled by one who presumes to control us. That is not how Christians behave, not according to the Scriptures. None of us is in control over another adult believer, nor do we have any right to demand or compel premature forgiveness from another. Our own eyes' planks should concern us much more than the other's eye speck.

We are to take the "one anothers" of Scripture very, very seriously; how we treat one another, according to Christ, is how we treat the Lord himself. If we would not continue rebelliously in open sin against the Lord, we ought not to give even the appearance of doing so against others. If we wouldn't refuse to seek forgiveness from the Lord, we ought to rush to seek it from the brothers and sisters we've wronged. If we would be horrified to say "You deserve my insults" to Jesus, we should repent from insulting another.

If I want forgiveness, it's not mine to demand. I'm much more likely to get it if I do the hard work of ceasing to sin against my neighbor and seeking true reconciliation humbly, as the sinner I am. If I want real relationship with my brother or sister, I need to show myself trustworthy. If I want grace, I need to extend it--real grace, not saccharine words that bely my actions--to the other.

It's not easy to practice (especially if we're immersed in this world's "Me First" mentality), but it's simple. Even the world "gets" it, though it's not widely practiced. I even heard it in Basic Training: "What goes around, comes around." Jesus once again was right: "Do to others as you would that others do to you." I rather doubt that those who so loudly demand forgiveness from others while continuing in their sins, want to have forgiveness demanded from them by unrepentant sinners.

Lent: Day 32

Scripture: John 8:2-11

". . .'Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.' . . .'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' She said, 'No one, sir.' And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.' "

Hymn: "Amazing Grace," UMH 378
John Newton, 1779

". . . ''Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed. . . ."

Prayer:

Alone with you, gracious Jesus, I cannot meet your eyes. No one else remains to condemn me, yet I condemn myself with the memory of my shame.

Yet you lift my face to your gaze, and I find love there! You, who are without sin, have no stones to cast at me. My Judge becomes my Savior. I have been set free!

You expect and trust me to "go and sin no more." Go with me, Lord, and keep me close to you through the power of your Holy Spirit. I want, with all my heart, to keep myself from sin.

What a sweet day!

It's been a good day. Other than a touch of digestive upset, which I'm hoping isn't the onset of a bug that's been going around, it was mostly delightful.

First of all, being at church, with loving, mature Christian people, is always a good thing. Sundays tend to be the best day of the week for me, the long hours and hard work notwithstanding.

Early service went well, the singers and players "syncing" better than usual, though the medley was more of a popular than a theologically super-solid offering. (I don't pretend we do great music, particularly at this service. The medley was "More Love, More Power" with "Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord.")

One troublesome thing was that my adult assistant for the youth handbell ensemble never showed. She also missed last week's rehearsal with no notice, and hasn't returned messages left for her. I am concerned.

But with some last-minute fill-ins, we managed to pull it together pretty well. The kids rang as well as they possibly could have, and it's only their second time ever to ring in public. I was very proud of them, and grateful to the substitutes.

So once the ringers had rehearsed and I'd warmed up the choir, so began the second service. The hymns were pretty good and the congregation sang them enthusiastically. The choir had, I thought, got the anthem's two troublesome rests ironed out in warm-up, when several people sang through them due to not watching. Blast if we didn't have an unintentional "soloist" and "small group" do the same thing during the actual presentation of the anthem, though! Still, the singing was remarkably good (other than the unobserved rests). It didn't hurt that it was a very good anthem, Lloyd Larson's "My Savior's Love." Overall, I was very pleased.

The sermon was even better than our pastor's usual excellent. It was easily the best sermon I've ever heard on John 4:5-42 (the Samaritan woman at the well), and I've heard quite a few (and preached that text once myself).

I had a meeting immediately after worship, with youth and their families. Was able to "plug" the youth handbell ensemble and I think I may get to welcome another player or two in the near future.

My voice student then had her final lesson prior to her college program/scholarship audition. She will be transferring in and I'm very proud of her. She's a very young singer and isn't totally a "natural," which means she's had to work hard to accomplish all that she has. Together we chose a fairly ambitious pair of audition pieces for her and she stepped up to the challenge. I wish I didn't have to wait until Saturday to hear how it goes!

Then followed our brief evening service and meal, then time for pre-school choir. Only two of our potential six little ones showed up, but those two were delightful and sang their precious hearts out. I can hardly wait until next Sunday,when they'll sing for the first time this calendar year. Then off to activities they went, and my school-age bunch arrived. I pinch myself every time I hear this group. When they're all there, there are ten of them. Tonight I had eight. Every one of them matches pitch extremely well. They could rival any premier children's choir I've ever heard for purity of tone and pitch accuracy. They will be singing in two weeks. They're preparing "Wade in the Water," and it sends chills up my spine how good they sound.

And it didn't hurt that, as we gathered for our prayer circle at the end of rehearsal, the adult leaders prompted them to sing "Happy Birthday" to me before we began sharing prayer requests. I don't know how I managed not to cry; maybe it was the their much-loved addition of "And many more on Channel 4 . . . (I always forget what follows for Channel 2 and Channel 9)" at the end. And as usual, prayer time with both choirs proved the best moments of the evening. Their tender little hearts trust God SO much, and they love to pray for others.

It was a good day to start my 50th year on, I think. God IS good!

Thank you, Bishop Willimon

If I ever needed a kick in the spiritual pants, this address by Bishop William Willimon fits the bill. In the midst of my recent (and ongoing) wrestling, I needed to hear this message.

No coincidence, I'm sure, that I'm scheduled to preach a week from Sunday. The miracle is that rather than feeling discouraged by such a masterful message, it has energized me to dig in and allow God to use the best I can prepare, as God will choose.

Anyway, please read the Bishop's address, even if you're not Methodist or Wesleyan. If you've ever wondered what a quaint little old-fashioned historical figure like John Wesley could possibly have to offer the 21st-century church, Bishop Willimon gives a powerful summary--and a challenge to all of us who claim to follow Jesus Christ.

(h/t to Dr. Platypus)

Lent: Day 33

Out of the Depths I Cry to Thee

Text: Martin Luther, 1523, Eng. tr. Catherine Winkworth, 1863
Tune: AUS TIEFER NOT, Martin Luther, 1524

Out of the depths I cry to Thee;
Lord, hear me, I implore Thee!
Bend down Thy gracious ear to me;
I lay my sins before Thee.
If Thou rememberest each misdeed,
If each should have its rightful meed,
Who may abide Thy presence?

Thou grantest pardon through Thy love;
Thy grace alone availeth;
Our works could ne’er our guilt remove;
Yea, e’en the best life faileth.
For none may boast himself of aught,
But must confess Thy grace hath wrought
Whate’er in him is worthy.

And thus my hope is in the Lord,
And not in my own merit;
I rest upon His faithful Word
To them of contrite spirit.
That He is merciful and just,
Here is my comfort and my trust;
His help I wait with patience.

I apologize for missing this morning's post. Thank you for reading and for sharing your comments. --Ps.

Lent: Day 27

"Lord, in the Strength of Grace"

Text: Charles Wesley, 1762
Tune: GREENWOOD, Joseph E. Sweetser, 1849

Here is another, little-known Wesley hymn that I especially like:

Lord, in the strength of grace,
With a glad heart and free,
Myself, my residue of days,
I consecrate to Thee.

Thy ransomed servant, I
Restore to Thee Thy own;
And, from this moment, live or die
To serve my God alone.

Lent: Day 26

Grace Greater than Our Sin

Text: Julia H. Johnston, 1911
Tune: MOODY, Daniel B. Towner, 1910

(This hymn is not yet in the public domain. You may read the full text here.)

Refrain:
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin.


The refrain is what "makes" this hymn, for me. How precious the reminder that no matter the sin, God's grace is more than sufficient!

Lent: Day 11

"Come, Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy"

I've always liked this old American hymn, particularly sung to RESTORATION, with its minor modality and stark harmonies. It reminds me that, when all is said and done, my only hope as a sinner is the mercy of my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Text: Joseph Hart, Hymns Composed on Various Subjects, 1759, alt.; re­frain anon­y­mous.
Tune: RESTORATION, from The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion, by Wil­liam Walk­er (New York: Hast­ings House, 1835).

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy,
Weak and wounded, sick and sore;
Jesus ready stands to save you,
Full of pity, love and power.

Refrain: I will arise and go to Jesus,
He will embrace me in His arms;
In the arms of my dear Savior,
O there are ten thousand charms.

Come, ye thirsty, come, and welcome,
God’s free bounty glorify;
True belief and true repentance,
Every grace that brings you nigh.

Refrain

Come, ye weary, heavy laden,
Lost and ruined by the fall;
If you tarry till you’re better,
You will never come at all.

Refrain

Let not conscience make you linger,
Nor of fitness fondly dream;
All the fitness He requireth
Is to feel your need of Him.

Refrain

Lent: Day 5

Grace, Greater than Our Sin

Text: Julia H. Johnston, in Hymns Tried and True (Chi­ca­go, Il­li­nois: The Bi­ble In­sti­tute Col­port­age As­so­ci­a­tion, 1911), num­ber 2.

Music: Daniel B. Towner, 1910.

You can view the full text and listen to the MIDI here at the Cyber Hymnal.

Here is the second verse and the chorus of this simple, direct hymn about the truth of the grace of God through Jesus Christ:

Sin and despair, like the sea waves cold,
Threaten the soul with infinite loss;
Grace that is greater, yes, grace untold,
Points to the refuge, the mighty cross.

Refrain: Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin.